Zombies vs. Unicorns
Edited by Holly Black and Justine Larbalestier
Publication Date: 9/21/10
Publisher: Brilliance Audio
Blurb(GR): It’s a question as old as time itself: which is better, the zombie or the unicorn? In this anthology, edited by Holly Black and Justine Larbalestier (unicorn and zombie, respectively), strong arguments are made for both sides in the form of short stories. Half of the stories portray the strengths–for good and evil–of unicorns and half show the good (and really, really bad-ass) side of zombies. Contributors include many bestselling teen authors, including Cassandra Clare, Libba Bray, Maureen Johnson, Meg Cabot, Scott Westerfeld, and Margo Lanagan. This anthology will have everyone asking: Team Zombie or Team Unicorn?
Review:
Beatles vs. Rolling Stones. Cats vs. Dogs. Coke vs. Pepsi. Zombies vs….Unicorns? Who knew? Apparently this is the divisive question of our time. And now, thanks to this anthology of stories, there’s a handy rubric for determining just how you should answer.
I listened to the audiobook, which was excellent. Phil Gigante, who some of you may be more familiar with as the voice of Jericho Z. Barrons, delivers many an eargasm as master of ceremonies. Holly Black and Justine Larbalestier provide their own rather nice voices for introductory/ back and forth banter at the beginning of each story, and the cast is pretty decent, with the major high point of Nick Podehl (aka, Todd Hewitt), and the major low point of Ellen Grafton (aka, Janie from Wake/Fade/Gone).
My Score Card:
The Mediocre
The Highest Justice by Garth Nix
-Gruesome undead Queen with oozing pus and rotting limbs who just wants…a kiss: +2 stars
-Murderous Unicorns: +2 stars
-I forget if this is supposed to be a unicorn story or a zombie story: -1 star
-I think the author probably had his unpaid intern write this: -1 star
A very boring, soporific start to the anthology. 2 stars
Purity Test by Naomi Novik
-A nice play on the unicorn/virgin mythology: +2 stars
-A heroine who’s homeless, tough, and realistic: +2 stars
-Ellen Grafton makes her sound like she’s a scrappy twelve year old: -1 star
-Sounds like something I would write in a bout of silliness in one afternoon, and I’m a horrible writer: -1 star
Forgettable and not very funny. 2 stars
Princess Prettypants by Meg Cabot
-A unicorn who farts rainbows but can also turn into a fiery-eyed vengeance demon when necessary: +2 stars
-A cute, enjoyable story that is also about as deep as a mud puddle: +0.5 stars
Sweet and funny, but barely scratches the surface of a premise that is actually pretty ripe with darker possibilities.
2.5 stars
Cold Hands by Cassandra Clare
-Even Justine Larbelestier (the head of team zombie) can’t keep herself from using the phrase “emo zombies” when referring to this story: -1 star
-A weird mish-mash of Victorian England and present day America that makes no sense: -1 star
-Zombies that actually aren’t all that different from regular ol’ people: -1 star
A story about zombie civil rights…in the same way that Disney's The Little Mermaid is a movie about human civil rights. -3 stars
The Middling
Bougainvillea by Carrie Ryan
-Everything up to the ending: -1 star
-The ending: +4 stars
Teen angst, over-descriptive prose, and lust/love in the midst of a zombie apocalypse…which is all mostly redeemed by that fantastic ending. 3 stars
The Children of the Revolution by Maureen Johnson
-Angelina Jolie as a crunchy granola, immortality seeking weirdo +3 stars
-A narrator that’s likeable and amusingly clueless: +1 star
-Ellen Grafton makes her sound like she’s a scrappy twelve year old: -1 star
A genuinely hilarious mockery of globe-trotting celebrities, their crazy religions, and their scores of adopted children. 3 stars
Prom Night by Libba Bray
-Teenagers running society! +4 stars
-And they’re actually succeeding…there’s bartering, a police force, the prom…all the important things: -0.5 stars
-Boy serenades girl and it’s supposed to be sexy romantic: -0.5 stars
This feels more like an introduction to a novel than a short story. It’s very classic Libba Bray, with a lot of sarcasm and bluster. I’m starting to realize that I’m not really a fan. 3 stars
Inoculata by Scott Westerfeld
-Half zombie teenagers inherit the earth! +3 stars
-Lonely, snarky, independent main character who also happens to be a lesbian: +0.5 stars
This one also feels more like an introduction to a series than a short story. AND, it’s very classic Westerfeld, with a foursome of teenagers set apart by paranormal abilities and born into a frightening world. My love for Scott Westerfeld is pretty much cemented by now so I would definitely read a full-length novel featuring these characters. 3.5 stars
The Masterful
Love Will Tear Us Apart by Alaya Dawn Johnson
-2nd person perspective used well: +1 star
-m/m zombie “romance”: +1 star
-The fact that I needed to use quotes in the above tally (because this isn’t the gushy, I will love you forever type
of romance): +1 star
-Nick Podehl has the most wonderful voice in the world: +1 star
A gritty, emotional tale that breathes new life into the old “I want you but I also want to kill you” story. 4 stars
The Third Virgin by Kathleen Duey
-A sort of Interview With the Unicorn: +1 star
-Creative twist on the unicorn healing mythology: +1.5 stars
-Nick Podehl puts on a very mediocre but adorable Welsh accent: +0.5 stars
-Use of the phrase “in a trice:” +0.5 stars
A very unique idea that also manages to sound incredibly familiar. 3.5 stars
The Care and Feeding of Your Baby Killer Unicorn by Diana Peterfreund
-Venomous, human-eating unicorns: +2 stars
-Thought-provoking religious and moral questioning: +1 star
-A boy named Eve: +0.5 stars
-Diana Peterfreund actually seems to know what a short story is: +1 star
This is one of my favorites of the anthology. The main character’s incredible growth throughout the story is very moving. The ending is a nice punch in the gut; I wouldn’t be surprised if Diana Peterfreund is an experienced short story author. 4.5 stars
A Thousand Flowers by Margo Lanagan
-Narration passed effortlessly between three points of view: +2 stars
-Nick Podehl puts on vaguely English accent: +0.5 star
-Beheadings, childbirth, suicide, and...unicorn love. +2 stars
-Why do unicorns like virgins so much? Oh. OOOOOOH. +1,000,000 stars
The most genuinely creepy and haunting story of the bunch. Margo Lanagan somehow wrote a unicorn story that trumps every single zombie story in terms of genuine horror. Zombies seem downright cuddly now. 1,000,004.5 stars
Perfect Musical Pairing
So let’s see. My final score is…*drumroll*
Zombies: 13.5 stars
Unicorns: 1,000,014.5 stars
So that means the winner is…ALL OF US, because we get to bask in the genius that is America.
America – The Last Unicorn
Edited by Holly Black and Justine Larbalestier
Publication Date: 9/21/10
Publisher: Brilliance Audio
Blurb(GR): It’s a question as old as time itself: which is better, the zombie or the unicorn? In this anthology, edited by Holly Black and Justine Larbalestier (unicorn and zombie, respectively), strong arguments are made for both sides in the form of short stories. Half of the stories portray the strengths–for good and evil–of unicorns and half show the good (and really, really bad-ass) side of zombies. Contributors include many bestselling teen authors, including Cassandra Clare, Libba Bray, Maureen Johnson, Meg Cabot, Scott Westerfeld, and Margo Lanagan. This anthology will have everyone asking: Team Zombie or Team Unicorn?
Review:
Beatles vs. Rolling Stones. Cats vs. Dogs. Coke vs. Pepsi. Zombies vs….Unicorns? Who knew? Apparently this is the divisive question of our time. And now, thanks to this anthology of stories, there’s a handy rubric for determining just how you should answer.
I listened to the audiobook, which was excellent. Phil Gigante, who some of you may be more familiar with as the voice of Jericho Z. Barrons, delivers many an eargasm as master of ceremonies. Holly Black and Justine Larbalestier provide their own rather nice voices for introductory/ back and forth banter at the beginning of each story, and the cast is pretty decent, with the major high point of Nick Podehl (aka, Todd Hewitt), and the major low point of Ellen Grafton (aka, Janie from Wake/Fade/Gone).
My Score Card:
The Mediocre
The Highest Justice by Garth Nix
-Gruesome undead Queen with oozing pus and rotting limbs who just wants…a kiss: +2 stars
-Murderous Unicorns: +2 stars
-I forget if this is supposed to be a unicorn story or a zombie story: -1 star
-I think the author probably had his unpaid intern write this: -1 star
A very boring, soporific start to the anthology. 2 stars
Purity Test by Naomi Novik
-A nice play on the unicorn/virgin mythology: +2 stars
-A heroine who’s homeless, tough, and realistic: +2 stars
-Ellen Grafton makes her sound like she’s a scrappy twelve year old: -1 star
-Sounds like something I would write in a bout of silliness in one afternoon, and I’m a horrible writer: -1 star
Forgettable and not very funny. 2 stars
Princess Prettypants by Meg Cabot
-A unicorn who farts rainbows but can also turn into a fiery-eyed vengeance demon when necessary: +2 stars
-A cute, enjoyable story that is also about as deep as a mud puddle: +0.5 stars
Sweet and funny, but barely scratches the surface of a premise that is actually pretty ripe with darker possibilities.
2.5 stars
Cold Hands by Cassandra Clare
-Even Justine Larbelestier (the head of team zombie) can’t keep herself from using the phrase “emo zombies” when referring to this story: -1 star
-A weird mish-mash of Victorian England and present day America that makes no sense: -1 star
-Zombies that actually aren’t all that different from regular ol’ people: -1 star
A story about zombie civil rights…in the same way that Disney's The Little Mermaid is a movie about human civil rights. -3 stars
The Middling
Bougainvillea by Carrie Ryan
-Everything up to the ending: -1 star
-The ending: +4 stars
Teen angst, over-descriptive prose, and lust/love in the midst of a zombie apocalypse…which is all mostly redeemed by that fantastic ending. 3 stars
The Children of the Revolution by Maureen Johnson
-Angelina Jolie as a crunchy granola, immortality seeking weirdo +3 stars
-A narrator that’s likeable and amusingly clueless: +1 star
-Ellen Grafton makes her sound like she’s a scrappy twelve year old: -1 star
A genuinely hilarious mockery of globe-trotting celebrities, their crazy religions, and their scores of adopted children. 3 stars
Prom Night by Libba Bray
-Teenagers running society! +4 stars
-And they’re actually succeeding…there’s bartering, a police force, the prom…all the important things: -0.5 stars
-Boy serenades girl and it’s supposed to be sexy romantic: -0.5 stars
This feels more like an introduction to a novel than a short story. It’s very classic Libba Bray, with a lot of sarcasm and bluster. I’m starting to realize that I’m not really a fan. 3 stars
Inoculata by Scott Westerfeld
-Half zombie teenagers inherit the earth! +3 stars
-Lonely, snarky, independent main character who also happens to be a lesbian: +0.5 stars
This one also feels more like an introduction to a series than a short story. AND, it’s very classic Westerfeld, with a foursome of teenagers set apart by paranormal abilities and born into a frightening world. My love for Scott Westerfeld is pretty much cemented by now so I would definitely read a full-length novel featuring these characters. 3.5 stars
The Masterful
Love Will Tear Us Apart by Alaya Dawn Johnson
-2nd person perspective used well: +1 star
-m/m zombie “romance”: +1 star
-The fact that I needed to use quotes in the above tally (because this isn’t the gushy, I will love you forever type
of romance): +1 star
-Nick Podehl has the most wonderful voice in the world: +1 star
A gritty, emotional tale that breathes new life into the old “I want you but I also want to kill you” story. 4 stars
The Third Virgin by Kathleen Duey
-A sort of Interview With the Unicorn: +1 star
-Creative twist on the unicorn healing mythology: +1.5 stars
-Nick Podehl puts on a very mediocre but adorable Welsh accent: +0.5 stars
-Use of the phrase “in a trice:” +0.5 stars
A very unique idea that also manages to sound incredibly familiar. 3.5 stars
The Care and Feeding of Your Baby Killer Unicorn by Diana Peterfreund
-Venomous, human-eating unicorns: +2 stars
-Thought-provoking religious and moral questioning: +1 star
-A boy named Eve: +0.5 stars
-Diana Peterfreund actually seems to know what a short story is: +1 star
This is one of my favorites of the anthology. The main character’s incredible growth throughout the story is very moving. The ending is a nice punch in the gut; I wouldn’t be surprised if Diana Peterfreund is an experienced short story author. 4.5 stars
A Thousand Flowers by Margo Lanagan
-Narration passed effortlessly between three points of view: +2 stars
-Nick Podehl puts on vaguely English accent: +0.5 star
-Beheadings, childbirth, suicide, and...unicorn love. +2 stars
-Why do unicorns like virgins so much? Oh. OOOOOOH. +1,000,000 stars
The most genuinely creepy and haunting story of the bunch. Margo Lanagan somehow wrote a unicorn story that trumps every single zombie story in terms of genuine horror. Zombies seem downright cuddly now. 1,000,004.5 stars
Perfect Musical Pairing
So let’s see. My final score is…*drumroll*
Zombies: 13.5 stars
Unicorns: 1,000,014.5 stars
So that means the winner is…ALL OF US, because we get to bask in the genius that is America.
America – The Last Unicorn
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