Author: Louise Rennison
Publication Date: Harper Teen
Blurb: Georgia Nicolson has started dating the Sex God (aka Robbie). So life should be perfect . . . except in Georgia's life, nothing is ever perfect. Her cat, Angus (the size of a small Labrador), is terrorizing the neighborhood. Her sister, Libby (who is slightly mad), hides her pooey knickers at the bottom of Georgia's bed. Then the Sex God breaks it off because she's too young. It's time for a plan. It's time for a Red Herring. It's time for Georgia to become a "heartless boy magnet!"
The only thing I am going to say here is that Dave the Laugh is the best boyfriend ever. I have no idea why, for so long, I thought the Sex God Robbie was a good choice for Georgia. Dave is a total dream boat...
...and yes, I know I am twice his age.
This snippet is for my present and future entertainment:
You can make a sort of nose sling out of pair of knickers [panties:]! Like a sort of antigravity device. You put a leg hole over each ear and the middley bit supports your nose. It's quite comfy. I'm not saying that it looks very glamorous. I'm just saying it's comfy.
It's not something I would wear outside of the privacy of my own bedroom.
It's a good view from my windowsill. I can see Mr. Next Door with his stupid poodles. He's all happy now that Angus has gone off poodle baiting in favor of the Burmese sex kitten.
Oh hello, here comes Mark, my ex, the breast fondler. At this rate he will be the one and only fondler. I will die unfondled. He must be coming home from footie practice. I don't know how I could ever have thought about snogging him; he wears extremely tragic trousers. He is looking up at my window. He has seen me. He's stopped walking and is looking up at my window. Staring at me. Well, you know what they say - once a boy magnet always a boy magnet. I'm just going to stare back in a really cool way. All right, Mr. Big Gob, Mr. Dumper. I might be the dumpee but you still can't take your eyes away from me though, can you??? I still fascinate him. He's just looking up at me. Just staring and staring.
Mesmerized by me.
Oh my god! I am still wearing my nose hammock made out of knickers.
Mark will tell all his mates.
He will now call me a knicker-sniffer as well as a lesbian...