Zombies vs. Unicorns
Edited by Holly Black and Justine Larbalestier
Publication Date: 9/21/10
Publisher: Brilliance Audio

Blurb(GR): It’s a question as old as time itself: which is better, the zombie or the unicorn? In this anthology, edited by Holly Black and Justine Larbalestier (unicorn and zombie, respectively), strong arguments are made for both sides in the form of short stories. Half of the stories portray the strengths–for good and evil–of unicorns and half show the good (and really, really bad-ass) side of zombies. Contributors include many bestselling teen authors, including Cassandra Clare, Libba Bray, Maureen Johnson, Meg Cabot, Scott Westerfeld, and Margo Lanagan. This anthology will have everyone asking: Team Zombie or Team Unicorn?

Review:

Beatles vs. Rolling Stones.  Cats vs. Dogs.  Coke vs. Pepsi.  Zombies vs….Unicorns?  Who knew?  Apparently this is the divisive question of our time.  And now, thanks to this anthology of stories, there’s a handy rubric for determining just how you should answer.

I listened to the audiobook, which was excellent.  Phil Gigante, who some of you may be more familiar with as the voice of Jericho Z. Barrons, delivers many an eargasm as master of ceremonies.  Holly Black and Justine Larbalestier provide their own rather nice voices for introductory/ back and forth banter at the beginning of each story, and the cast is pretty decent, with the major high point of Nick Podehl (aka, Todd Hewitt), and the major low point of Ellen Grafton (aka, Janie from Wake/Fade/Gone). 

My Score Card:

The Mediocre

The Highest Justice by Garth Nix
-Gruesome undead Queen with oozing pus and rotting limbs who just wants…a kiss:  +2 stars
-Murderous Unicorns: +2 stars
-I forget if this is supposed to be a unicorn story or a zombie story: -1 star
-I think the author probably had his unpaid intern write this: -1 star

A very boring, soporific start to the anthology.  2 stars

Purity Test by Naomi Novik
-A nice play on the unicorn/virgin mythology: +2 stars
-A heroine who’s homeless, tough, and realistic: +2 stars
-Ellen Grafton makes her sound like she’s a scrappy twelve year old: -1 star
-Sounds like something I would write in a bout of silliness in one afternoon, and I’m a horrible writer: -1 star

Forgettable and not very funny. 2 stars

Princess Prettypants by Meg Cabot
-A unicorn who farts rainbows but can also turn into a fiery-eyed vengeance demon when necessary: +2 stars
-A cute, enjoyable story that is also about as deep as a mud puddle: +0.5 stars

Sweet and funny, but barely scratches the surface of a premise that is actually pretty ripe with darker possibilities. 
2.5 stars

Cold Hands by Cassandra Clare
-Even Justine Larbelestier (the head of team zombie) can’t keep herself from using the phrase “emo zombies” when referring to this story: -1 star
-A weird mish-mash of Victorian England and present day America that makes no sense: -1 star
-Zombies that actually aren’t all that different from regular ol’ people: -1 star

A story about zombie civil rights…in the same way that Disney's The Little Mermaid is a movie about human civil rights. -3 stars

The Middling

Bougainvillea by Carrie Ryan
-Everything up to the ending: -1 star
-The ending: +4 stars

Teen angst, over-descriptive prose, and lust/love in the midst of a zombie apocalypse…which is all mostly redeemed by that fantastic ending. 3 stars

The Children of the Revolution by Maureen Johnson
-Angelina Jolie as a crunchy granola, immortality seeking weirdo +3 stars
-A narrator that’s likeable and amusingly clueless: +1 star
-Ellen Grafton makes her sound like she’s a scrappy twelve year old: -1 star

A genuinely hilarious mockery of globe-trotting celebrities, their crazy religions, and their scores of adopted children. 3 stars

Prom Night by Libba Bray
-Teenagers running society! +4 stars
-And they’re actually succeeding…there’s bartering, a police force, the prom…all the important things: -0.5 stars
-Boy serenades girl and it’s supposed to be sexy romantic: -0.5 stars

This feels more like an introduction to a novel than a short story.  It’s very classic Libba Bray, with a lot of sarcasm and bluster. I’m starting to realize that I’m not really a fan. 3 stars

Inoculata by Scott Westerfeld
-Half zombie teenagers inherit the earth! +3 stars
-Lonely, snarky, independent main character who also happens to be a lesbian: +0.5 stars

This one also feels more like an introduction to a series than a short story.  AND, it’s very classic Westerfeld, with a foursome of teenagers set apart by paranormal abilities and born into a frightening world.  My love for Scott Westerfeld is pretty much cemented by now so I would definitely read a full-length novel featuring these characters.  3.5 stars

The Masterful

Love Will Tear Us Apart by Alaya Dawn Johnson
-2nd person perspective used well: +1 star
-m/m zombie “romance”: +1 star
-The fact that I needed to use quotes in the above tally (because this isn’t the gushy, I will love you forever type
of romance): +1 star
-Nick Podehl has the most wonderful voice in the world: +1 star

A gritty, emotional tale that breathes new life into the old “I want you but I also want to kill you” story. 4 stars

The Third Virgin by Kathleen Duey
-A sort of Interview With the Unicorn: +1 star
-Creative twist on the unicorn healing mythology: +1.5 stars
-Nick Podehl puts on a very mediocre but adorable Welsh accent: +0.5 stars
-Use of the phrase “in a trice:” +0.5 stars

A very unique idea that also manages to sound incredibly familiar. 3.5 stars

The Care and Feeding of Your Baby Killer Unicorn by Diana Peterfreund
-Venomous, human-eating unicorns: +2 stars
-Thought-provoking religious and moral questioning: +1 star
-A boy named Eve: +0.5 stars
-Diana Peterfreund actually seems to know what a short story is: +1 star

This is one of my favorites of the anthology.  The main character’s incredible growth throughout the story is very moving.  The ending is a nice punch in the gut; I wouldn’t be surprised if Diana Peterfreund is an experienced short story author.  4.5 stars

A Thousand Flowers by Margo Lanagan
-Narration passed effortlessly between three points of view: +2 stars
-Nick Podehl puts on vaguely English accent: +0.5 star
-Beheadings, childbirth, suicide, and...unicorn love.  +2 stars
-Why do unicorns like virgins so much?  Oh.  OOOOOOH.  +1,000,000 stars

The most genuinely creepy and haunting story of the bunch.  Margo Lanagan somehow wrote a unicorn story that trumps every single zombie story in terms of genuine horror.  Zombies seem downright cuddly now. 1,000,004.5 stars

Perfect Musical Pairing

So let’s see.  My final score is…*drumroll*

Zombies:  13.5 stars
Unicorns:  1,000,014.5 stars

So that means the winner is…ALL OF US, because we get to bask in the genius that is America.
America – The Last Unicorn

Stork (Stork, #1)
Author: Wendy Delsol
Publication Date: 10/12/10
Publisher: Brilliance Audio (Candlewick)

Blurb (GR): Moving from LA to nowhere Minnesota, sixteen-year-old Katla Leblanc expected the local fashion scene to be frozen in time. What she didn’t expect was induction into the Icelandic Stork Society, an ancient order of women charged with a unique mystical duty. Not only is Katla the youngest member, but Hulda, the society’s omen-guided leader, immediately bestows the coveted Second Chair on her   — a decision that ruffles a few feathers.

As if that weren’t enough, Katla also has to deal with her parents’ divorce and the social aftermath of a bad date with popular but creepy Wade. Katla, however, isn’t one to sit on her designer-jean-clad behind, and soon she’s assigned the fashion column for the school paper and making new friends.

Things would be looking up if it weren’t for editor in chief Jack. Even though they argue every time they meet, Katla is inexplicably drawn to him. Juggling her home life, school, and Stork duties, will Katla be able to unravel the mystery surrounding Jack? More importantly, will she find a dress in time for Homecoming?

Folktales collide with reality in Wendy Delsol’s debut novel, in which one girl finds herself tail-feathers deep in small-town life.

Review:

Oh, hey! Look at that! It's me at a playground! Look at how excited I am at the top of the slide:-) My ponytail is bouncing and I have a huge smile on my face. I'm waving to you;-) Life is so much fun when you are about to go down a slide--it's going to be a big adventure!

Hi. Now I am at the bottom of the slide. My ponytail fell out. There aren't as many MS paint flowers down here, but there IS a semi-barren tree--it has a bird in it though, so things really aren't all bad. And, I mean, even if a slide is bad, it's still good, right?

I think I might do more of my reviews on Paint...I mean, clearly my skills are out of this world. Anyway, Stork was a rather original concept in the YA realm: Katla (which is a little too similar to Katniss and Katsa, both heroines from books I love) moves with her newly divorced mother back to her mother's hometown in Norse Falls, Minnesota. It is a far cry from the life she'd been living as a fashion-obsessed, coffee-saturated California girl and she feels like an outsider. (At this point, we are still in pretty well-worn territory) Wendy Delsol deviates from the beaten path by introducing the fact that Katla is actually a stork who helps match essences of children to a potential mother. Before I went into the story, I was really skeptical about how successful this idea could be. As it turns out, I found the idea rather fascinating, though I had to tone down my cynicism a ton to roll with the story. (mostly because I kept asking myself: Is it only in this town? Or only towns with lots of Icelandic people? How do we have so many unfit parents? These questions are only partially answered) But the description of the process was still intriguing. I wish Delsol had concentrated this book on the revelation of Katla as a stork and her assimilation into her new high school and relationship with Jack.

Buuuut, she doesn't. Instead it turns out to be the ole good v. evil plotline and you see it coming from a mile down the track. And the love is epic predestined love and, while the romantic interest is rather adorable, it started to feel cheesy. I definitely enjoyed listening to this one and I kind of hope the author will continue writing books set in Norse Falls--I just hope they won't be trying so hard to be everything to everyone. I mean, this book has ALL of the following:moving,divorce, possible pregnancy of main characters, MAKEOVERS!, a school dance, a hiking trip,secret meetings,a childhood accident, mythology/folklore, mean girls, her mother's new boyfriend,FASHION(if you are annoyed by constant mentions of brands and outfits, avoid this one),a character death, AND foreverlove.

I am tired from just writing that list. It's a good thing I'm still sitting on that slide:-) I did enjoy it. Katla is funny, and I even caught myself laughing out loud a few times.

3/5 stars

Wake (Dream Catcher, #1)
Author: Lisa McMann
Publication Date: 3/4/08
Publisher: Brilliance Audio (Audiobook)

Blurb (GR):
For seventeen-year-old Janie, getting sucked into other people’s dreams is getting old. Especially the falling dreams, the naked-but-nobody-notices dreams, and the sex-crazed dreams. Janie’s seen enough fantasy booty to last her a lifetime.

She can’t tell anybody about what she does they’d never believe her, or worse, they’d think she’s a freak. So Janie lives on the fringe, cursed with an ability she doesn’t want and can’t control.

Then she falls into a gruesome nightmare, one that chills her to the bone. For the first time, Janie is more than a witness to someone else’s twisted psyche. She is a participant…

Review:
Before I start this one, just know that I LIKED IT. I don't love it as much as many of my Goodreads friends but this could be because I started out listening to this and finished the last 30-40 pages in book form. I'm glad I did so because I can say that I liked this book loads more in audio format. I'm fairly sure the writing style just wasn't doing it for me.

You know when you are trying to write a paper for school and you are a couple pages short? You start playing around with the margins, change the font around, block quote a few times, and ta-da! You're suddenly at the length requirement. That's what this book felt like--a substandard research paper. Sure, it was enjoyable but when you hold it up against other YA lit, it falls short because it's missing something. (40 more pages)The central characters were well done but the brevity of the book made me want more in terms of plot development and several of the side characters were brought up but they didn't add much nor do we learn much about them. Frustrating. Also, though I enjoyed the development of Janie and Cabel's relationship, it was lacking the attraction for me.

The pacing is lightning speed--I think someone could read this in an hour and a half, no joke. I'll finish this series because the story is interesting and it won't take much time. Honestly, though, I'm sorry to say I could really take it or leave it.

3/5 stars