Taming the Forest King
Author: Claudia J. Edwards
Publication Date: 12/1/86
Publisher: Warner Books

Blurb(GR): The distant Forest Province had been torn apart by corruption and rebellion. On the direct orders of her king, Tevra, Colonel of the Light Cavalry, arrives in this strange land with instructions to restore order - at swordpoint, if need be.

Yet no steel blade can hold sway in a realm where shapes of death can be fashioned from the still of the air. And even the most ungodly works of the sorcerers pale before the mysterious powers of the Forest King himself - but is he Tevra's ally, or her deadliest foe?


Review:

Imagine the scene: a kick-ass heroine begrudgingly sets aside her military uniform to pour herself into an elaborate red ball gown (which of course she looks fabulous in) and attend a ball in her honor.  Upon entering the room, she’s approached by a gorgeous, powerful man.  She immediately notes that he “smells of almonds and sunshine,” and then feels a “storm of lust” as they dance the first dance together.  Their eyes connect, and she feels an instant tug of connection.

If you’re like me, then your eyes were probably rolling out of their sockets around line two of that description.  BUT NOW, just imagine that the heroine says this to that man:

“…forgive me, but I wasn’t in love with you.  I wanted you.  That’s a very different thing.”

And then she suggests that they have a one-night stand to get it out of their systems – right after she fights a duel on her own behalf and negotiates peace with a forest full of bandits, of course.

YES!  I feel like I’ve been waiting and waiting for this day – the day when a romance novel could surprise me this much.  Here’s my not-so-secret secret:  I love romance novels.  But I also hate romance novels.  I get so tired of feeling disappointed again and again and again: by heroines who are spineless, by heroines who are unrealistically tough, by heroes who are alpha male stalkers, by love stories that are little more than embellished lust, and by endings that are neat little happily-ever-after packages.  I’ve read those stories, and they weren’t very interesting the first time around.  And yet, they just keep getting written.

And so to this book I say: where have you been all my life?! Well, it turns out that this book has in fact been around for almost my entire life.  It was published when I was five years old!  I’m only sad that it’s taken me twenty five years to read it.  And I’m very sad that this author is no longer with us, but I intend to read everything she ever wrote now.

I love that Tevra both fits and breaks the mold for romance novel heroines.  She’s a powerful, brave, heroic woman who can also wear a dress.  But she also feels like a very realistic soldier: she’s cool, experienced, and logical – although sometimes a bit too logical.  She’s of medium height, in her thirties, has short practical hair, and is scarred from battle.  She’s definitely not one of those heroines who is supposed to be an experienced soldier and yet also has ankle length hair that brings all the boys to the yard, if you know what I’m saying.  She’s a genuine badass!  But Tevra is vulnerable too – even in a world where women are able to enter the military and hold rank, she faces challenges and she faces them with more intelligence than brawn.

But this book isn’t just about Tevra going around kicking butt and ruling the day.  This is a true romance novel, of the rarest type: one that features a deep, substantial, wonderful love story that’s based on so much more than just stupid lust (although a little bit of lust, of course).  I also need to mention here that this book includes a love triangle, and here's the amazing part: it didn't make me want to vomit.  AND, she didn't turn one of the suitors into a complete douche bag just to make the decision easier.  There's nothing simple or easy about this romance.  

And never fear!  This book has a wonderful, happy ending that was so satisfying I actually got a bit teary eyed about it.  It’s like everything that I’ve ever wanted to read in a romance novel was distilled and placed into this one book.  I can’t recommend it enough!

Many thanks to my blogging partner Flannery for sending me this book without telling me anything about it and ordering me to read it.

P.S. – that cover?  With the chain mail mini dress and weird monster?  And that title?  Have almost nothing to do with this book.

Perfect Musical Pairing
Radiohead – House of Cards

Dear Book,
I don’t want to be your friend; I just want to be your lover.

4/5 Stars

Trainspotting
Author: Irvine Welsh
Publication Date: 6/17/96
Publisher: W. W. Norton & Company

Blurb (GR): Irvine Welsh's controversial first novel, set on the heroin-addicted fringe of working-class youth in Edinburgh, is yet another exploration of the dark side of Scottishness. The main character, Mark Renton, is at the center of a clique of nihilistic slacker junkies with no hopes and no possibilities, and only "mind-numbing and spirit-crushing" alternatives in the straight world they despise. This particular slice of humanity has nothing left but the blackest of humor and a sharpness of wit. American readers can use the glossary in the back to translate the slang and dialect--essential, since the dialogue makes the book. This is a bleak vision sung as musical comedy.

Review:

This is why I love reading challenges - they allow me to discover books I would have never picked up on my own. Let's face it, would I ever intentionally seek a book about Scottish low-lives - junkies, thugs, and prostitutes? Don't think so. But alas, the fate threw Welsh's "Trainspotting" my way and I ate it up like hot cakes.

"Trainspotting" is a collection of short stories narrating scenes in the lives of a Skag Boys (skag = heroin) - Rents, Sick Boy, Begsbie, Spud, and various people around them - their families, lovers, drug suppliers, partners in crime, or victims. Mark Renton (Rents) is more or less is the protagonist, this is mostly his story, even though the stories are written from multiple points of view in 1st and 3rd person. The majority of them is also narrated in Scottish dialect, so some initial effort to understand is required.

The best thing about this book is that it takes you on a roller-coaster ride - it takes you from revulsion to uncontrollable boasts of laughter to tears of compassion. Considering that every other word in this book is a profanity, I think Irvine Welsh has talent.

"Trainspotting" starts off as a rather repulsive read - within the first 10 pages Rents is fishing out the drugs that he has just rectally ingested out of the filthy overflowing public toilet. The repulsive factor doesn't really go away as the story progresses, we are faced with psychopath Begsbie who is extremely abusive to everyone around him, including his girlfriends, or Sick Boy who is very popular with women and at some point becomes a pimp of a few of them, or Rents himself, who drunkenly has sex with a 14-year old girl or shags his dead brother's pregnant fiance in the bathroom during his funeral. The list goes on and on. But the thing is, in spite of all these depravities, Skag Boys are strangely relatable and, dare I say it, often likable. They are losers and addicts and criminals, but their emotional and moral struggles are real.

The book is, although very dark, at the same time hilarious, it is filled with Rents' sarcastic humor. This quote from the scene can give you a good taste of the writing.

Here Rents is held by his parents under the house arrest. They are attempting to get him off the heroin, Rents' mom is trying to feed him.

"The auld girl sticks us in the comfy chair by the fire in front ay the telly, and puts a tray oan ma lap. Ah'm convulsing inside anyway, but the mince looks revolting.
- Ah've telt ye ah dinnae eat meat Ma, ah sais.
- Ye eywis liked yer mince and tatties (potatoes). That's whair ye've gone wrong son, no eating the right thing. Ye need meat.
Now there is apparently a casual link between heroin addiction and vegetarianism."

In the latter part "Trainspotting" is no longer a repulsively hilarious read, it gets darker and darker, as we follow the fates of Rents' many friends, and it's not pretty - too many of them are dying - from HIV from sharing needles, from cancer, gangrene, heart attacks. Seeing this many deaths, 25-year old Rents attempts to kick his habit over and over again, but will he and his friends succeed?

I think "Trainspotting" is a remarkable read and I will definitely read more of Welsh's work. But is this book for everybody? Absolutely not. It is filled with human depravities, profanity, and written in Scottish dialect. This will turn off many readers. But if you are looking for a challenging (in many ways) read, give "Trainspotting" a try. You won't be disappointed.

5/5 stars