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YA Review: The Boyfriend List by E. Lockhart

3/30/2012

14 Comments

 
The Boyfriend List cover
The Boyfriend List: 15 Guys, 11 Shrink Appointments, 4 Ceramic Frogs and Me, Ruby Oliver (Ruby Oliver, #1)
Author: E. Lockhart
Narrator: Mandy Siegfried
An Excerpt
Publication Date: 2005
Publisher: Listening Library

Blurb(GR):
Ruby Oliver is 15 and has a shrink. She knows it's unusual, but give her a break—she's had a rough 10 days. In the past 10 days she:

* lost her boyfriend (#13 on the list)
* lost her best friend (Kim)
* lost all her other friends (Nora, Cricket)
* did something suspicious with a boy (#10)
* did something advanced with a boy (#15)
* had an argument with a boy (#14)
* drank her first beer (someone handed it to her)
* got caught by her mom (ag!)
* had a panic attack (scary)
* lost a lacrosse game (she's the goalie)
* failed a math test (she'll make it up)
* hurt Meghan's feelings (even though they aren't really friends)
* became a social outcast (no one to sit with at lunch)
* and had graffiti written about her in the girls' bathroom (who knows what was in the boys'!?!).

But don't worry—Ruby lives to tell the tale. And make more lists.

Review:

I like this book so much for being a fun, frothy, escape about gossip and boys.  But I LOVE this book for transcending all of those things.  When I first read the title: The Boyfriend List: 15 Guys, 11 Shrink Appointments, 4 Ceramic Frogs and Me, Ruby Oliver, I expected that this book would contain a few swoon-worthy boys and that our heroine Ruby would experience some drama-fueled teenage angst trying to decide which one to date.  I even jokingly proclaimed myself “Team Noel” within minutes of the starting the book – fully expecting that I would spend the next day or so regressing into teenage girl-hood and gossiping about these characters.  Now I feel like a shallow jerk for expecting so little from E. Lockhart, the brilliant woman who brought us Frankie Landau-Banks!

So often, girls are encouraged to “be nice” and get along – to not make waves, to make do with whatever life throws our way, to never give voice to our negative feelings. 

”My problem is I can think whatever I think – girl power, solidarity, Gloria Steinem rah rah rah – but I still feel the way I feel.  Which is jealous.  And pissy about little things.”

Even mild discontent is often viewed as “bitchy” or “whiny.”  These expectations are so pervasive and ingrained - we often place them on ourselves.  I know I’ve been guilty of it – of quashing my anger, jealousy, and hurt beneath a pleasant mask, even as it all multiplies and festers inside. Because that’s what happens when you don’t acknowledge a negative feeling, in my experience: it grows exponentially until it comes out one way or another.

In Ruby’s case, she starts manifesting those feelings in a very physical way: panic attacks.  Her parents, who are both clueless and over-involved, sign her up immediately for therapy.  The novel itself is a written account of Ruby’s thoughts about a list that her therapist asks her to create: of all the boys that she’s ever been involved with.  But the boys aren’t the real story - it turns out that Ruby’s best friends have stopped speaking to her and she’s become a “leper” at school. The story unfolds organically from one flashback to another with the list and the scenes in the present providing a really nice anchoring framework.  It feels fluid but logical at the same time.

I am just so impressed at how much depth this fluffy little story had to offer.  Ruby’s struggle to acknowledge and justify her own feelings and to eventually give voice to them is a subtle one.  But as someone who has fought that battle, I really felt the weight of it.  I’ve been there – so afraid of my own feelings that I couldn’t even acknowledge that they existed.  When I was in that place, it felt like voicing those things – giving them a name - would only make them more horrible, more real.

This isn’t a triumphant feel-good story, but a quiet one about one girl’s first small steps toward emotional honesty, with other people but mostly with herself.  And E. Lockhart gives us so much more than just Ruby: there’s Kim, who holds her feelings inside until they erupt in vicious outbursts; there are Ruby’s parents, who are engaged in a constant power struggle that they never discuss openly; and there’s even Nora at the end, who seems to want to forget that anything happened.

I’ve already downloaded the next three books and I simply cannot wait to continue.  I know from experience that once you’ve given voice to your feelings – once you’ve felt that relief and that realization that the world is in fact not going to end – it’s almost impossible to go back to holding them in.  I can’t wait to see more of Ruby’s journey in these books.

Perfect Musical Pairing
Cyndi Lauper - When You Were Mine

Woohoo!  I get to match one of my songs so soon!  This is one of my absolute favorites (I've got it on right now and my girls are having a dance party).  It was written by Prince and Cyndi Lauper covered it but kept the male/female designations the same.  This is my song for Ruby and Kim - because I know that Kim was awful and malicious, but I kind of hope they make it up by the end of the series - after a few cathartic talks, of course.

5/5 Stars
Readventurer C Signature
14 Comments
Tatiana (The Readventurer) link
3/30/2012 06:58:32 am

I often see this book dismissed, because of its boyfriend list premise and too clean main character, but, to me, this is a book of great importance. Not every woman has a traumatic drama happen in her girlhood, but too many girls and women seem to be unable to voice their needs in relationships and stop being so complacent and dependent. As if saying what you need and want is somehow shameful and bound to ruin your relationships.

Reply
Catie (The Readventurer) link
3/30/2012 07:10:26 am

Yes! It's that whole "keep him happy, don't rock the boat" mentality. And I think it's also that fear of being alone - as if being with someone unsuitable would be better. When in reality, the only way to ever have a healthy relationship with anyone (boyfriend, friend, family) is to say those things - and hopefully, the other person will want to work them out! If they don't - then they probably aren't very invested in the relationship anyway.

Another thing that I forgot to mention is Ruby's friends' obsession with finding "the one." I LOVE that Ruby says that she doesn't think there's a "one" - that she likes variety. Love that!

I'm definitely having this around when my girls are teens.

Reply
VeganYANerds link
3/30/2012 08:56:26 am

Great review, Catie! From the title you'd think this was just about teenage girls making lists of boys but it sounds like it has a lot more to offer. I have only read positive reviews of this and I keep meaning to track down a copy, I must make it a priority!

Reply
Catie (The Readventurer) link
3/30/2012 10:31:19 pm

I think you'd love it! It's been out for a while, so hopefully it shouldn't be too hard to find. Thanks!

Reply
Sam link
3/30/2012 07:05:33 pm

Brilliant review! I would never even have considered this book before but it sounds like something definitely worth checking out. I'm glad you mentioned that this fluffy story isn't just fluff, that there's depth to it too. Sounds promising! :)

Reply
Catie (The Readventurer) link
3/30/2012 10:32:42 pm

Thanks! I think you'd love this too, Sam. It has a lot of depth, but it's lots of fun too. I hope you can find it!

Reply
Ashley (Book Labyrinth) link
3/31/2012 12:48:32 am

Isn't this book good?? I'm such a fan of this series because it's so layered, like you said. It's hilarious and fun and it does have the cute boy angle, but it's also brilliant and makes you think.

Reply
Catie (The Readventurer) link
3/31/2012 06:54:00 am

This book is excellent! I love E. Lockhart.

Reply
Noelle link
3/31/2012 01:55:36 am

I adore E. Lockhart and Ruby. This series was the inspiration for my Fairy Godmother shelf on goodreads, aka the books I like to gift to the real life young or teen girls I know. She packages all these huge important truths in such an endearing, entertaining and compulsively readable story. I'm so glad you read and loved this Catie and I love that Cyndi Lauper song! Yay for dance parties!

Reply
Catie (The Readventurer) link
3/31/2012 06:56:49 am

Yes, I think that this is a book that young teens would actually really enjoy (and me too). It feels frothy and fun, but it's got so much more. This one is definitely going on the shelf of books I have at home for the girls. Thanks for encouraging me to read it Noelle!

Reply
Lisa O. link
3/31/2012 03:32:05 pm

I've had this book sitting on my shelf since last year and never felt like picking it up, thinking it was too fluffy and childish. I guess after the last two disastrous experiences I had with fluffy, THIS is what I should have picked up!
Thanks for the review Catie, I will soon get to it.

Reply
Catie (The Readventurer) link
4/1/2012 02:17:02 am

Yay!! This is definitely a vanilla that hasn't gone rancid, Lisa. :) It's like one of those super-expensive, imported Tahitian vanillas that you can only buy at specialty food stores. Haha. Hope you like it!

Reply
Maja link
4/1/2012 04:46:24 pm

Okay, I'm convinced. I must be one of the very few people who didn't like Frankie Landau-Banks at all because, as fun as it was sometimes, I felt that it didn't have enough soul.
It seems to me that this book has exactly what FLB is missing and I'm more than willing to give it a shot just because of that.
Wonderful review, Catie.

Reply
Catie (The Readventurer) link
4/3/2012 05:19:31 am

I have one other friend who loved these, but didn't connect with Frankie - so you might end up liking them Maja! I really hope you do! And thanks!

Reply



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