We all have them: books we pretend we’ve read; books so covered in the dust of good intentions that we’ve forgotten we already own two copies *cough*The Jungle*cough*; those awful books glaring at us from the nightstand. I spend a lot of time browsing the internet looking at lists of things, especially book-related things and those lists are all well and good, but they are basically meaningless to me. Does this mean I won’t try to read all the National Book Award, Pulitzer, Printz, and Newbery award winners? Hell no, that is very much still on my agenda. I guess when I said "meaningless" one sentence ago I merely meant of lesser importance than my own handmade and extremely well-thought-out list. Yeah, let’s go with that. I actually sat down and looked through my books and my to-be-read lists to see what I had and to analyze my intentions and objectives. A high priority for me is cutting down the number of stunned looks from people who find out I haven’t read something.
Exhibit A:
1. The last two Twilight books. I never finished these because I was so bored by the plot of New Moon that the thought of continuing on felt like I was signing up for a voluntary colonoscopy. If I wanted to read about a teenager who can do nothing but mope around for an entire book, I’d look into a mirror and tell myself to get a life because I should never want to read about that. Nevertheless, I HEAR that books 3 and 4 are better and though it is depressing to me, a lot of people want to talk about this series. I’d prefer it if all those people adapted to me and read better books but we all know the universe doesn’t work that way. So I will read these two books.
Exhibit B:
2. The Complete Stories of Flannery O’Connor: This is the one book I am most chickenshit about. I’ve been hearing about this since I was released from my mother’s womb and not so coincidentally, I’ve also been dreading it since then. What if I don’t like the stories of the woman I was named for? Does it get any more embarrassing than that? I’ve made it 28 years but I can’t make it another while actually considering myself a respectable, well-read person. Stay tuned on this one.
Exhibit A:
1. The last two Twilight books. I never finished these because I was so bored by the plot of New Moon that the thought of continuing on felt like I was signing up for a voluntary colonoscopy. If I wanted to read about a teenager who can do nothing but mope around for an entire book, I’d look into a mirror and tell myself to get a life because I should never want to read about that. Nevertheless, I HEAR that books 3 and 4 are better and though it is depressing to me, a lot of people want to talk about this series. I’d prefer it if all those people adapted to me and read better books but we all know the universe doesn’t work that way. So I will read these two books.
Exhibit B:
2. The Complete Stories of Flannery O’Connor: This is the one book I am most chickenshit about. I’ve been hearing about this since I was released from my mother’s womb and not so coincidentally, I’ve also been dreading it since then. What if I don’t like the stories of the woman I was named for? Does it get any more embarrassing than that? I’ve made it 28 years but I can’t make it another while actually considering myself a respectable, well-read person. Stay tuned on this one.
Another high priority is getting through the books on my shelf that make my heart hurt when I look at them: GIFTS. My biggest hurdle in this arena will be motivating myself to read more nonfiction. My dad always buys me books related to my interests, for sure. But they are also primarily nonfiction books and it is so much easier for me to just shelve them and get back to my genre fiction. Here are some of my gift books from the list:
3. Team of Rivals by Doris Kearns Goodwin
4. Solovki by Roy Robson
5. Emperor of All Maladies by Siddhartha Mukherjee
6. Ireland by Frank Delaney
7. Incidents in the Life of a Slave Girl by Harriet Jacobs
Next up? Series I’ve started and need to finish or catch up on. In some cases, this just means one book. In others, it means I’ve majorly dropped the ball and need to run the entire length of the field to catch up. These are some of my slacking series:
8. The Thursday Next series by Jasper Fforde (1 behind)
9. The Grimspace/Sirantha Jax series by Ann Aguirre (4 soon to be 5 behind)
10. The Newflesh series by Mira Grant (1 soon to be 2 behind)
11. The Native Star series by M.K. Hobson (1 behind)
12. The Unearthly series by Cynthia Hand (1 behind)
13. The Baker Street Irregulars series by Robert Newman (8 to finish)
14. The Dublin Murder Squad series by Tana French (2 soon to be 3 behind)
15. The In Death Series by J.D. Robb (4 behind)
And series I’ve wanted to start for ages:
16. The Hungry City Chronicles by Philip Reeve (3 to catch up)
17. The Mistborn series by Brandon Sanderson (4 to finish)
18. The Fionovar Tapestry by Guy Gavriel Kay (3 to finish)
19. The Discworld series by Terry Pratchett (only going for ONE here, way too much of an investment to go for the entire series)
20. The Chaos Walking series by Patrick Ness (3 to finish)
21. The Parasol Protectorate books by Gail Carriger (4 soon to be 5 to catch up)
22. The Mary Russell books by Laurie R. King (11 to catch up)
23. The Vorkosigan Saga by Lois McMaster Bujold (at least one)
24. Charles de Lint’s Newford series (at least one)
I have so many reader friends and their opinions mean a great deal to me. There are a few adjectives that are a quick sell for me in a review and when any of my friends use words like “perfect,” “horrifying,” “shocking,” “life-changing,” or “favorite,” I’ve already added the book to my to-be-read list before I finish reading their sentence. Here are some books I will read because they are other people’s favorites:
3. Team of Rivals by Doris Kearns Goodwin
4. Solovki by Roy Robson
5. Emperor of All Maladies by Siddhartha Mukherjee
6. Ireland by Frank Delaney
7. Incidents in the Life of a Slave Girl by Harriet Jacobs
Next up? Series I’ve started and need to finish or catch up on. In some cases, this just means one book. In others, it means I’ve majorly dropped the ball and need to run the entire length of the field to catch up. These are some of my slacking series:
8. The Thursday Next series by Jasper Fforde (1 behind)
9. The Grimspace/Sirantha Jax series by Ann Aguirre (4 soon to be 5 behind)
10. The Newflesh series by Mira Grant (1 soon to be 2 behind)
11. The Native Star series by M.K. Hobson (1 behind)
12. The Unearthly series by Cynthia Hand (1 behind)
13. The Baker Street Irregulars series by Robert Newman (8 to finish)
14. The Dublin Murder Squad series by Tana French (2 soon to be 3 behind)
15. The In Death Series by J.D. Robb (4 behind)
And series I’ve wanted to start for ages:
16. The Hungry City Chronicles by Philip Reeve (3 to catch up)
17. The Mistborn series by Brandon Sanderson (4 to finish)
18. The Fionovar Tapestry by Guy Gavriel Kay (3 to finish)
19. The Discworld series by Terry Pratchett (only going for ONE here, way too much of an investment to go for the entire series)
20. The Chaos Walking series by Patrick Ness (3 to finish)
21. The Parasol Protectorate books by Gail Carriger (4 soon to be 5 to catch up)
22. The Mary Russell books by Laurie R. King (11 to catch up)
23. The Vorkosigan Saga by Lois McMaster Bujold (at least one)
24. Charles de Lint’s Newford series (at least one)
I have so many reader friends and their opinions mean a great deal to me. There are a few adjectives that are a quick sell for me in a review and when any of my friends use words like “perfect,” “horrifying,” “shocking,” “life-changing,” or “favorite,” I’ve already added the book to my to-be-read list before I finish reading their sentence. Here are some books I will read because they are other people’s favorites:
25. As Meat Loves Salt by Maria McCann
26. The Master and Margarita by Mikhail Bulgalov
27. All-Of-A-Kind Family by Sydney Taylor
28. We Have Always Lived in the Castle by Shirley Jackson
29. The Age of Innocence by Edith Wharton
30. Madapple by Christina Meldrum
31. Mountains Beyond Mountains by Tracy Kidder
32. Between Shades of Gray by Rita Sepetys
33. Kristin Lavransdattar by Sigrid Undset
34. Liesl & Po by Lauren Oliver
35. The Blue Sword by Robin McKinley
36. Howl’s Moving Castle by Diana Wynne Jones
37. The Lost Conspiracy by Frances Hardinge
38. The Reapers Are the Angels by Alden Bell
39. Gone with the Wind by Margaret Mitchell
40. The Taste of a Man by Slavenka Drakulic
41. Architecture of the Arkansas Ozarks by Donald Harington
42. The Stand by Stephen King
26. The Master and Margarita by Mikhail Bulgalov
27. All-Of-A-Kind Family by Sydney Taylor
28. We Have Always Lived in the Castle by Shirley Jackson
29. The Age of Innocence by Edith Wharton
30. Madapple by Christina Meldrum
31. Mountains Beyond Mountains by Tracy Kidder
32. Between Shades of Gray by Rita Sepetys
33. Kristin Lavransdattar by Sigrid Undset
34. Liesl & Po by Lauren Oliver
35. The Blue Sword by Robin McKinley
36. Howl’s Moving Castle by Diana Wynne Jones
37. The Lost Conspiracy by Frances Hardinge
38. The Reapers Are the Angels by Alden Bell
39. Gone with the Wind by Margaret Mitchell
40. The Taste of a Man by Slavenka Drakulic
41. Architecture of the Arkansas Ozarks by Donald Harington
42. The Stand by Stephen King
Young Adult books I’ve heard wonderful things about:
43. Chime by Franny Billingsley
44. Being Billy by Phil Earle
45. Burn Bright by Marianne de Pierres
46. Split by Swati Avashti
47. The Raging Quiet by Sherryl Jordan
48. The Survival Kit by Donna Frietas
49. How To Save A Life by Sara Zarr
50. Lips Touch: Three Times by Laini Taylor
51. The Last Days of Summer by Steve Kluger
52. The Spectacular Now by Tim Tharp
53. Where Things Come Back by John Corey Whaley
Perhaps my favorite part of the list is the section of books I pretend I’ve read. There are a few books I’ve had multiple conversations with people about—long, drawn out discussions of the author, the history, why I liked it, why I didn’t, etc. which provides me with a lot of smug satisfaction that my lies were believable. It always reminds me of that Oscar Wilde quote: “I love talking about nothing. It’s the only thing I know anything about.” I get some sort of sick enjoyment from being able to make conversation about anything.
54. Devil in the White City by Erik Larson (I’ve been on two architectural boat tours in Chicago so I’ve got a few factoids in my back pocket)
55. Blindness by Jose Saramago (I’m surprised I don’t have more on the list where I’ve only seen the movie yet persist in discussing the book like I’ve read it)
56. Guns, Germs, and Steel by Jared Diamond
57. To Kill A Mockingbird by Harper Lee (!)
58. The Road by Cormac McCarthy (in which I tell them about Cormac Tweets and then I divert the discussion to useful skills for the apocalypse)
59. Lolita by Vladimir Nabokov (This one is easy. Let’s just talk about how creepy some songs by The Police are…)
60. The Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath (these people don’t want to talk about the book anyway, they want to talk about existentialism)
61. The Moonstone by Wilkie Collins (I base all my knowledge of this one on a tiny excerpt included in our sixth grade reading textbook)
62. On The Road by Jack Kerouac (Have to be able to converse with the hipsters. See also: Dave Eggers, Confederacy of Dunces, House of Leaves, DFW, Jonathan Safran Foer, and Jonathan Lethem)
63. The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier & Clay by Michael Chabon (I like these conversations because whoever it is probably loves comics so I can quickly change the subject to comic books and movies.)
I’m probably most looking forward to the following section: Children’s and middle grade books that I want to reread or experience for the first time.
64. The Chocolate War by Robert Cormier
65. The 15-book boxed set of Roald Dahl (I saw this at Costco for $25! Best deal ever!) - includes Fantastic Mr Fox, The Twits, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, The Magic Finger, Esio Trot, Matilda, Danny the Champion of the World, Going Solo, The Witches, James and the Giant Peach, The BFG, The Giraffe and the Pelly and me, Boy Tales of Childhood, Charlie and the Great Glass Elevator, George's Marvellous Medicine
66. The Ordinary Princess by M.M. Kaye
67. Okay for Now by Gary Schmidt
In terms of lists that I find online, I always get most excited about science fiction and fantasy lists. I am so far behind on the classics in both genres that it honestly makes me question my devotion to the genres. These aren’t all classics but they’re still on my list:
68. Stranger in a Strange Land by Robert Heinlein
69. Red Mars by Kim Stanley Robinson
70. 1984 by George Orwell
71. Brave New World by Aldous Huxley
72. The Handmaid's Tale by Margaret Atwood
73. The Left Hand of Darkness by Ursula K. LeGuin
74. Starship Troopers by Robert Heinlein
75. Snow Crash by Neal Stephenson
76. Earthseed by Pamela Sargent (for my YA space genre fix)
77. The Lies of Locke Lamora by Scott Lynch
78. Green Rider by Kristen Britain
In an effort to be able to cross SOME classic literature off of my Pulitzer/National Book Award lists (since at last count my Pulitzer list was somewhere around, oh right, ONE book), here are some classics for my list:
43. Chime by Franny Billingsley
44. Being Billy by Phil Earle
45. Burn Bright by Marianne de Pierres
46. Split by Swati Avashti
47. The Raging Quiet by Sherryl Jordan
48. The Survival Kit by Donna Frietas
49. How To Save A Life by Sara Zarr
50. Lips Touch: Three Times by Laini Taylor
51. The Last Days of Summer by Steve Kluger
52. The Spectacular Now by Tim Tharp
53. Where Things Come Back by John Corey Whaley
Perhaps my favorite part of the list is the section of books I pretend I’ve read. There are a few books I’ve had multiple conversations with people about—long, drawn out discussions of the author, the history, why I liked it, why I didn’t, etc. which provides me with a lot of smug satisfaction that my lies were believable. It always reminds me of that Oscar Wilde quote: “I love talking about nothing. It’s the only thing I know anything about.” I get some sort of sick enjoyment from being able to make conversation about anything.
54. Devil in the White City by Erik Larson (I’ve been on two architectural boat tours in Chicago so I’ve got a few factoids in my back pocket)
55. Blindness by Jose Saramago (I’m surprised I don’t have more on the list where I’ve only seen the movie yet persist in discussing the book like I’ve read it)
56. Guns, Germs, and Steel by Jared Diamond
57. To Kill A Mockingbird by Harper Lee (!)
58. The Road by Cormac McCarthy (in which I tell them about Cormac Tweets and then I divert the discussion to useful skills for the apocalypse)
59. Lolita by Vladimir Nabokov (This one is easy. Let’s just talk about how creepy some songs by The Police are…)
60. The Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath (these people don’t want to talk about the book anyway, they want to talk about existentialism)
61. The Moonstone by Wilkie Collins (I base all my knowledge of this one on a tiny excerpt included in our sixth grade reading textbook)
62. On The Road by Jack Kerouac (Have to be able to converse with the hipsters. See also: Dave Eggers, Confederacy of Dunces, House of Leaves, DFW, Jonathan Safran Foer, and Jonathan Lethem)
63. The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier & Clay by Michael Chabon (I like these conversations because whoever it is probably loves comics so I can quickly change the subject to comic books and movies.)
I’m probably most looking forward to the following section: Children’s and middle grade books that I want to reread or experience for the first time.
64. The Chocolate War by Robert Cormier
65. The 15-book boxed set of Roald Dahl (I saw this at Costco for $25! Best deal ever!) - includes Fantastic Mr Fox, The Twits, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, The Magic Finger, Esio Trot, Matilda, Danny the Champion of the World, Going Solo, The Witches, James and the Giant Peach, The BFG, The Giraffe and the Pelly and me, Boy Tales of Childhood, Charlie and the Great Glass Elevator, George's Marvellous Medicine
66. The Ordinary Princess by M.M. Kaye
67. Okay for Now by Gary Schmidt
In terms of lists that I find online, I always get most excited about science fiction and fantasy lists. I am so far behind on the classics in both genres that it honestly makes me question my devotion to the genres. These aren’t all classics but they’re still on my list:
68. Stranger in a Strange Land by Robert Heinlein
69. Red Mars by Kim Stanley Robinson
70. 1984 by George Orwell
71. Brave New World by Aldous Huxley
72. The Handmaid's Tale by Margaret Atwood
73. The Left Hand of Darkness by Ursula K. LeGuin
74. Starship Troopers by Robert Heinlein
75. Snow Crash by Neal Stephenson
76. Earthseed by Pamela Sargent (for my YA space genre fix)
77. The Lies of Locke Lamora by Scott Lynch
78. Green Rider by Kristen Britain
In an effort to be able to cross SOME classic literature off of my Pulitzer/National Book Award lists (since at last count my Pulitzer list was somewhere around, oh right, ONE book), here are some classics for my list:
Some of the many classics lurking around my house.
79. Disgrace by J.M. Coetzee
80. Middlemarch by George Eliot
81. A Portrait of an Artist as a Young Man by James Joyce
82. All The King's Men by Robert Penn
83. Animal Farm by George Orwell
84. The Magnificent Ambersons by Booth Tarkington
85. My Antonia by Willa Cather
86. Johnny Got His Gun by Dalton Trumbull
87. The Grapes of Wrath by John Steinbeck
88. The Old Man and the Sea by Ernest Hemingway
89. Slaughterhouse-Five by Kurt Vonnegut
90. Crime and Punishment by Fyodor Dostoyevsky
91. To The Lighthouse by Virginia Woolf
92. Catch-22 by Joseph Heller
80. Middlemarch by George Eliot
81. A Portrait of an Artist as a Young Man by James Joyce
82. All The King's Men by Robert Penn
83. Animal Farm by George Orwell
84. The Magnificent Ambersons by Booth Tarkington
85. My Antonia by Willa Cather
86. Johnny Got His Gun by Dalton Trumbull
87. The Grapes of Wrath by John Steinbeck
88. The Old Man and the Sea by Ernest Hemingway
89. Slaughterhouse-Five by Kurt Vonnegut
90. Crime and Punishment by Fyodor Dostoyevsky
91. To The Lighthouse by Virginia Woolf
92. Catch-22 by Joseph Heller
And the catch-all group, to round it off. These are books that don’t necessarily fit in another category but I’ll read them, gosh darn it!
93. The Shadow of the Wind by Carlos Ruiz Zafon
94. The Cloud Atlas by David Mitchell
95. Beloved by Toni Morrison
96. Cutting for Stone by Abraham Verghese
97. Still Alice by Lisa Genova
98. The Power of One by Bryce Courtenay
99. The Magus by John Fowles
100. The Name of the Rose by Umberto Eco
101. The Things They Carried by Patrick O'Brien
102. The Prince of Tides by Pat Conroy
103. Sarah's Key by Tatiana de Rosnay
104. The Cellist of Sarajevo by Steven Galloway
105. Out Stealing Horses by Per Petterson
106. The World According to Garp by John Irving
107. The Alienist by Caleb Carr
108. The Snow Child by Eowyn Ivey
109. The Art of Fielding by Chad Harbach
110. Shhh, I still haven’t read Shadowfever by Karen Marie Moning.
I thought for a while about the time constraints and how long it will take for me to realistically finish off every book in this list. There are only 110 numbered spots but when I include the series, it is about 150+ books. Considering I read between 100-150 books a year, I think it is plausible that I could finish all of these books in 3 years. So it's set. HEAR YE, HEAR YE: Let it be known that I will finish every book on this list by February 23rd, 2015. Be sure to check back on that day, three years from now. Write it down in your Trapper Keeper so you don't forget.
Do you have a list of books you're trying to finish? Will you share it with me? I'm fascinated by them. Do you think something is omitted from my list or that something shouldn't be there? TOUGH LUCK! Just kidding, but I'm not going to change it. It took me a long time to wheedle it down to where it is now. In the next few weeks, I'll post the whole list on a separate page under the top navigation bar so you can watch my progress...that is, if anyone is interested in that sort of thing. Come on, there must be more list makers and lovers for crossing off things around these here interwebz!
93. The Shadow of the Wind by Carlos Ruiz Zafon
94. The Cloud Atlas by David Mitchell
95. Beloved by Toni Morrison
96. Cutting for Stone by Abraham Verghese
97. Still Alice by Lisa Genova
98. The Power of One by Bryce Courtenay
99. The Magus by John Fowles
100. The Name of the Rose by Umberto Eco
101. The Things They Carried by Patrick O'Brien
102. The Prince of Tides by Pat Conroy
103. Sarah's Key by Tatiana de Rosnay
104. The Cellist of Sarajevo by Steven Galloway
105. Out Stealing Horses by Per Petterson
106. The World According to Garp by John Irving
107. The Alienist by Caleb Carr
108. The Snow Child by Eowyn Ivey
109. The Art of Fielding by Chad Harbach
110. Shhh, I still haven’t read Shadowfever by Karen Marie Moning.
I thought for a while about the time constraints and how long it will take for me to realistically finish off every book in this list. There are only 110 numbered spots but when I include the series, it is about 150+ books. Considering I read between 100-150 books a year, I think it is plausible that I could finish all of these books in 3 years. So it's set. HEAR YE, HEAR YE: Let it be known that I will finish every book on this list by February 23rd, 2015. Be sure to check back on that day, three years from now. Write it down in your Trapper Keeper so you don't forget.
Do you have a list of books you're trying to finish? Will you share it with me? I'm fascinated by them. Do you think something is omitted from my list or that something shouldn't be there? TOUGH LUCK! Just kidding, but I'm not going to change it. It took me a long time to wheedle it down to where it is now. In the next few weeks, I'll post the whole list on a separate page under the top navigation bar so you can watch my progress...that is, if anyone is interested in that sort of thing. Come on, there must be more list makers and lovers for crossing off things around these here interwebz!
